I am not the master of not freaking out. Not even close. We all get there, right to the edge, at some point. It’s just a fine line of not letting whatever is happening push you over that edge. Because if you go over that edge; it’s into full on freakout mode and no one wants to go there!
But life happens and inevitably we will end up teetering on that edge. It could be work deciding you need to take on a project you are not confident or comfortable with. Or maybe it’s a surprise test on your worst subject. How about spouse or partner acting clueless like you never told them about the very important thing at least ten times. And don’t even get me started on moody teenagers who act like their fathers and don’t hear the fifteen times you asked them to clean the kitchen.
Yes, life is just a big old smorgasbord of stress and anxiety waiting to happen. It gets to all of us at some point. As much as I’d like to say I’m all calm, cool, and collected; I’m not. At least not all the time. We can’t control the chaos that comes at us. But we can control how we react to that chaos.
Just like meditation, not freaking out takes practice. We all start to flip that switch sometimes. And that’s where we need to return to our breathing. Just like meditation. We need to pause and look at the situation without reacting for a moment. Just observe. It’s really hard to take a step back. I know I am a passionate person, and my first instinct is always to rush right in. I’m a fixer. I want to get in there and fix this injustice or problem. But sometimes it’s a really big, hairy, scary problem and I just want to freak out and run away. Either way, rushing in or running away, is probably not the best solution.
So how do we not freak out? I don’t have all the answers, but I can tell you what I tell my kids. First, take a deep breath. You are brave. Fear does not controll you. Fear is the real culprit of the freakout. Always breath before you react in any situation. Give yourself that moment to take a deep breath or two and look at the situation before you react.
And then we just pick a starting point. One step, in one direction. Not thinking past that first step. Once we have a starting point, we can build from there. We don’t have to have all the answers at once. We just need to know which direction we are going. And we keep breathing. We keep remembering that we are brave, and we are in control. It’s also good to remember that freaking out will not solve the problem. It’s just a reaction to fear and unknow. And we are brave and not controlled by fear.